2019 / March

When your heart’s not open.

Madonna

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

You only see what your eyes want to see. The opening lines of Madonna’s Frozen establish the scene. A picture of a cold emotionless person who has decided how they want life to be and are willing to accept nothing else.

Have you ever met someone this cold and calculated? They are willing to manipulate others to get what they want and will stop at nothing to achieve their own goals. I’m hoping not, although many of us may have. Yet even if we haven’t met someone to this extreme, I think there is a characterisation of us all in this to a lesser extent:

How can life be what you want it to be? You’re frozen, when your heart’s not open.

Madonna’s portrayal of the cold and calculated person becomes more tangible and relatable to us when we realise, we all close our compassion and care for others at times because of our insistence on seeing life only from our perspective.

What leads us to these places though? I know there are times for me when my compassion and care for others is not what I would like it to be. And, like in the song, the reality is, at these times I am probably more consumed with how much [I] get. During the less compassionate moments in my life, there is a tendency for me to be more self-obsessed and allow jealousy and ideas of feeling hard done by to take over my thinking. In Madonna’s words; You waste your time with hate and regret. Where does it lead us?

The solution? Well we do need to look after ourselves and process the experiences we’ve had. That much is true. However, we also need people around us who will help us to melt our hearts. People who will remind us the pointlessness of only looking for someone else to blame. When we hold on to hurt, we’re frozen. Unable to take responsibility or move forward.

It seems to me there’s a lot of sense in this song. Over the coming week I’m going to try to embrace this. I might not be a cold-hearted person on the whole, but I’m sure I need to keep being forgiving and not holding on to hurt or blame if I am going to positively take responsibility for my own wellbeing.

Author

dave@metanoeo.org.uk
Founder and Director of Metanoeo CIC and Metanoeo Coaching. Working with individuals, communities and business to co-create #wellbeing4all through life coaching, resources for living life well and training and supporting life coaches.