Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi

It’s always intrigued me how we can romanticise the past. We do it individually when we think about ‘the good old days’. Yet we also do it socially with our love of recreating and engaging in all things historical. There are plenty of reenactment societies, a fair number of which involve battles in some way. But perhaps most popular of all is our love of cowboys. Cowboy themes have always gripped the entertainment industry. Whether it be westerns in the format of films and books, or music, such as today's song by Bon Jovi Wanted Dead or Alive:

'Cause I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride … And I ride (and I ride), dead or alive.

When we think about the cowboy we might think of all sorts of heroic images, but in doing so do we just make excuses for ourselves in our own situations? When we see someone as a hero, it is easy to see ourselves as something lesser in comparison. And when we do that we start to create excuses for why we can’t do something.

Thinking about the cowboy in this context is an interesting example, not in the least because cowboys certainly had some complex moral choices which they made. And perhaps, rather than creating heroes of cowboys, it would be far more useful to think of their ownership of situations. This is what Kevin Hart in his book This is how we do it calls cowboying up.

To cowboy up, in Hart’s language, requires us to put on our boots, take ownership of our situation and recognise I did it, I stepped in it, I’m wrong. Then take a breath and figure out how to move forward. I think this is what Bon Jovi are expressing when they sing:

I've been everywhere, still I'm standing tall.

We all have regrets. And these regrets can cut deep. Things we’ve done or said (or not). But the reality is that we need to accept where we are, put our boots on and figure out what we are going to do next.