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\"Self-Sabotage\" — <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div>
How do you get out of your head?<\/h2>
The Retune Blog - 9th June 2023<\/h4>
So reading the title you might be wondering where this is going! And, yes, hopefully you\u2019ve guessed it, it is referring to getting out of your head in terms of overthinking rather than drugs or alcohol!<\/span><\/p>
Overthinking is a strange thing. Recently I\u2019ve found myself saying a board has got in my head, when not being able to break it at taekwondo. Obviously the board can\u2019t get in my head, but somehow I start overthinking about what I\u2019m doing and find myself not breaking it when I kick it even though I know I can. And one of the ways we know we are overthinking is through something expressed <\/span>Abe Parker\u2019s Self-Sabotage<\/span><\/a>:<\/span><\/span><\/p>
*There\u2019s a voice saying I\u2019m a failure \u2026 Telling yourself you won\u2019t make it.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div>*
<\/iframe><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-66782e95\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-66782e95\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16pt;\">We all have times when the voice inside our head introduces doubt to what we are about to do. And it doesn\u2019t take much to plant that seed of doubt, and for that seed of doubt to grow into full blown self-sabotage through overthinking. As the song expresses, this is part of our common human experience:<\/span><\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2026 second nature is to second guess.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16pt;\">So, what can we do? Well the good news is that we can all become better at stopping ourselves from self-sabotaging and overthinking. First we have to tune into our thinking. In the book Stop Self-Sabotage (see our book of the week review below), Ho suggests thinking patterns we might try to identify come in lots of different forms such as; overgeneralization, catastrophizing, should-based thinking (focusing on how things should-be rather than are), black and white thinking, mind reading, playing down the positives, and personalisation (measuring ourselves against others).<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16pt;\">Once we\u2019ve started to identify how our brain is operating, we can begin to identify alternatives. So, for example, if we always catastrophize (for example, me thinking I\u2019m going to kick the frame instead of the board when breaking (and that this will hurt me)), we can counter the thought by looking at the evidence (for me, I don\u2019t kick the frame when I\u2019m concentrating).<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16pt;\">From this point of awareness, we can begin to quieten that doubting voice in our head. Then, as we develop the skills to complement our awareness, we can recognise:<\/span><\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 16pt;\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The only one in my way is me.<\/span><\/i><\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-row-container\" data-vce-boxed-width=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-row vce-row--col-gap-30 vce-row-equal-height vce-row-content--top\" id=\"el-92e19257\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-92e19257\"><div class=\"vce-row-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\"><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-29p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-first vce-col--lg-first vce-col--xl-first\" id=\"el-fea6764d\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background el-fea6764d\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-fea6764d\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-51c2609d\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-51c2609d\"><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Book of the week<\/span><\/h1><h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop Self-Sabotage <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">by Judy Ho (2019)<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-single-image-container vce-single-image--align-left\"><div class=\"vce vce-single-image-wrapper\" id=\"el-97a05948\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-97a05948\"><figure><div class=\"vce-single-image-figure-inner\" style=\"width: 331px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3N91arL\" title=\"stop self-sabotage by judy ho on amazon\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"vce-single-image-inner vce-single-image--absolute\" style=\"width: 100%; padding-bottom: 150.755%;\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"vce-single-image\" width=\"331\" height=\"499\" srcset=\"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/stop-self-sabotage-by-judy-ho-320x482.jpg 320w, https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/stop-self-sabotage-by-judy-ho-331x401.jpg 331w\" src=\"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/stop-self-sabotage-by-judy-ho-331x401.jpg\" data-img-src=\"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/stop-self-sabotage-by-judy-ho.jpg\" data-attachment-id=\"838\" alt=\"stop self sabotage by judy ho\" title=\"stop self sabotage by judy ho\" \/><\/a><\/div><figcaption hidden=\"\"><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-6p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first\" id=\"el-2769a004\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background el-2769a004\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-2769a004\"><div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-col vce-col--md-65p vce-col--xs-1 vce-col--xs-last vce-col--xs-first vce-col--sm-last vce-col--sm-first vce-col--md-last vce-col--lg-last vce-col--xl-last\" id=\"el-e7e21be4\"><div class=\"vce-col-inner\" data-vce-do-apply=\"border margin background el-e7e21be4\"><div class=\"vce-col-content\" data-vce-element-content=\"true\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding el-e7e21be4\"><div class=\"vce-text-block\"><div class=\"vce-text-block-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-5e71f6a1\" data-vce-do-apply=\"all el-5e71f6a1\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16pt;\">Ho\u2019s book offers a clear six-point plan for addressing self-sabotaging thoughts which includes both theory and practical exercises. She starts by encouraging us to recognise our troublesome thinking patterns before looking at the sequence of these thoughts so we can learn to shut triggering thoughts down. Step three involves looking at the ABC (antecedents - behaviour - consequences) chain which leads to step four, setting the goal using mental contrasting and implementation intentions. The final two steps lead the reader through how to maintain their focus and develop a visual plan. <\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vce-button--style-basic-container vce-button--style-basic-container--align-center\"><span class=\"vce-button--style-basic-wrapper vce\" id=\"el-eed45d04\" data-vce-do-apply=\"margin el-eed45d04\"><a class=\"vce-button vce-button--style-basic vce-button--style-basic--border-rounded vce-button--style-basic--size-large vce-button--style-basic--color-b-248-135-73--fff\" href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3N91arL\" title=\"purchase stop self-sabotage on amazon\" data-vce-do-apply=\"padding border background el-eed45d04\">Purchase on Amazon<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"text-justify\">How do you get out of your head?The Retune Blog – 9th June 2023So reading the title you might be wondering where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":837,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oct_exclude_from_cache":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[552,601],"tags":[603,604,602,195],"class_list":["post-836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-552","category-june-2023","tag-abe-parker","tag-overthinking","tag-self-sabotage","tag-self-talk"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=836"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":840,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions\/840"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/retune.metanoeo.org.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}