We demand … in its place

Inspired by Henge (2018). Demilitarise [Song]. On Attention Earth! [Album]. Cosmic Dross Records. Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash

As many of you will know, one of my all time favourite bands is Henge. Henge brings the wisdom of the cosmos to earth (if you don’t believe me, check out some of their videos!).

In this song, a singalong number they usually close the set with, the demand is made for an end to producing war armaments and for our efforts to be redirected into creating a new home in space (if it sounds far fetched its not too far from what the late Prof. Stephen Hawkins called for too.)

But the wisdom in this song doesn’t just lie in its hopeful vision for more adventure and less fighting. There is a wisdom which anyone who has struggled with any form of addiction would also recognise. It’s usually more effective to try to replace one behaviour with another rather than just ceasing to do something.

This concept doesn’t just apply to addictive behaviour. Take for example the self-talk we use with ourselves. If we constantly put ourselves down with phrases like “I’m stupid, I always do this” we will find it hard not to say anything to ourselves when we make a mistake. But we could replace the phrase with, “Well that didn’t go to plan, a lesson  for next time”.

In my experience coaching people, the alternative narratives and behaviours we create for ourselves can be the critical factor in growing. We so often need to unlearn our current responses and replace them with something we’d prefer as our response. And what’s important here is making that conscious choice: what do we want our behaviours and narratives to be and what can we use to create the space to remind ourselves to choose this option instead of defaulting to our old ways.

This gap between stimulus and response can often be something as simple as learning to click a pen before we respond, just giving us a second break to allow us to choose to change our habitual response.

So, whilst replacing weapons manufacture with space colonisation might seem a bit far off, don’t throw away the wisdom of the principle which informs it.