All the endless grey conundrums which are painted black and white

The Retune Blog - 23rd June 2023

Have you ever imagined what the world would be like if it was full of people just like you? I know I have, and my conclusion is ouch! Don’t get me wrong, I love being me, and other people can frustrate and annoy me, but I’ve come to the conclusion I need them. What’s more, one of the reasons I need them is precisely that they are not me and that they might frustrate and annoy me.

The thing about other people who don’t see things in the same way that we do, is that they can help to challenge our own biases and assumptions. What they can open us up to, is the idea that the world is far more colourful and diverse than our perspective on its own, and without the balance of others, might suggest. This week’s song by Sam Fender, Long Way Off, explores this idea:

All the endless grey conundrums that are painted black and white.

As humans, our brains have a really useful skill of trying to make things easy for us to understand and judge by reducing the complexities of life and helping us to take a perspective. So, as we approach any issue, we take a position on it. That is both useful and healthy. However, what isn’t so useful or healthy, is that we often become more attached to defending and maintaining that perspective far beyond its usefulness and to the detriment of ourselves and others. To use the lyrics of the song:

I've seen enough of it, the sides are all cemented.

This is where the real beauty of diversity of thought and experience comes into play. It’s not that we have to take no position, and hold no opinion, but that by being open to contemplating different perspectives we can begin to deepen our understanding of the complexities we face in life both as individuals, and as a community. Yet this willingness to hear different perspectives is just the beginning:

I heard a hundred million voices sound the same both left and right, we're still a long way off.

Beyond just hearing the voices of others, we need to have compassion and empathy. When we hear with this approach, rather than becoming polarised in our own self-righteous views, we can really begin to journey from polarisation and certainty to wholeness and curiosity.

So, Fender’s song comes as a timely reminder to us, that the healing of our communities, and individual lives, doesn’t come in the form of a polarised detached politics of certainity, but in genuine engagement with the stories of people who might not be like us. And as individuals, the same is also true. A life well lived is one in which we can connect people not because they might seem like us on the surface, but because of our curiosity and desire to grow not just in answers, but also compassion. When we do this, we are far better equipped to make more rounded decisions that are both in the interests of us and those around us.